This was written by poker author Matt Canei for eZine

1. Any hand containing a face card most definitely is the nuts, even though you don't know what "the nuts" means yet, you must certainly will have it. Yeah I know there's three all-ins and you have jack-deuce, call with confidence!

2. If there is one strength of being a complete donkey it is this: you will not and cannot be bluffed... EVER!

3. Flopping bottom pair definitely is the strongest hand at the table. Call down to the river when everyone else but you knows you're hopelessly defeated.

4. Even though you have nothing you continue to call bets hoping to get your card on the turn or river. As a matter fact, you call your opponents bet after the river to try to catch your card on the river... but it's too late and you can't figure out why your seven high didn't win.

5. Aces in the hole... No problem, just throw all your chips in the pot right there because you have the best hand in poker. But wait, there's 5 people to act before you and you just broadcasted to the entire table that you have Pocket Aces... But it doesn't matter because there's probably another idiot like you at the table that will call you with king-rag.

6. Two suited cards, you definitely have a shot at a straight here. Yes you still think five suited cards is called a straight but it doesn't matter because you're definitely going to hit it. Even with a rainbow flop you call any bet because god willing you will hit your "straight" on the river.

7. Ace-deuce off-suit is definitely a premium hand. Call any and every bet you face because even if you miss the board your ace-high is definitely superior.

8. Get excited and gitty any time you look down at King-Four offsuit under the gun. You don't know what under the gun means nor have any concept of table position but it doesn't matter because you have a FACE CARD!

9. Call all the way down with A-K even when you have nothing just because A-K is a good hand and you feel like you should win with it every time because its one of the few hands you know that you should raise with.

10. You have a flush or a gut-shot straight draw, this definitely is better than anything and a favorable situation for a donkey. Call all the way down and then if you miss and face a bet after the river just call anyway. Who knows, your straight or flush draw might be good. Right?

  ;DWAY 2 FUNY LMAO, BUT U KNOW WHAT ITS ALL TRUE I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN

OMG

HEHHEHEH THESE R SOO FUNY WITCH 1 IS U

NEW SPECIES OF DONKEY DISCOVERED

Your intrepid reporter has found a whole new group of donkeys that can be classified. Join the fun, If you can classify one, you get naming rights

THE TALKING DONKEY: tells you their views and odd opinions about your poker play
   
   SUB-SPECIES: THE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE BIG BLIND DONKEY
      You will be in the big blind, with 8 2, it is checked to you. flop comes 8 2 2. the donkey will go all in with his pocket A 2. everyone will fold to you. you call the donkey. you win the pot. this type of donkey will instantly say "I can't believe you played an
8 2" and then top it off by calling you a donkey.

Just got to be able to get the timing right for that check-raise to work!!

                                                          The Turkey

On the internet so many believe if i can click it I can copy it and post it.

Thank you Arjonius ... posting an excerpt is great...unless the article is very short

But always credit the author with a link back. Many will look where they are getting linking from... nice for them to see the comments about their work... good or bad

And a few will ask to have their work removed... and that is fine too.  After all, it is their work

I've seen these donkeys!