Looking back over today's game I feel like I wasted an opportunity I may never have again. I'm making myself sick just thinking about it again. I played real tight to begin with folding everything cause I was getting nothing to play with. Then I won a couple of small pots and I guess got a little over confident.

When I drew 5c,7c in the Small Blind position with the blinds at 15/30 I took a chance and called when player 4 raised to 3xBB. I should have remained tight and folded but I didn't. The flop came Qc,2s,6c which made it even worse cause that put me on a flush draw which is hard for me to resist even with low hole cards. I bet 4xBB which obviously wasn't enough to scare anybody cause player 4 called and player 9 raised to 560. That right there should have been red flag number two that told me to fold but I ignored it. I called, player 4 reading the signs right folded.

When the 3c fell on the turn I breathed a sigh of relief hoping my opponent wasn't holding two clubs in the hole. Not only had I filled my flush but I had one chance at hitting a gut shot straight flush draw. No here's where I think I made another mistake. I'm thinking that betting only about 2/3 of my stack instead of going all in sent a message to my opponent that I was unsure of my hand. Holding 5c,7c I should have considered that there were several larger clubs out there that could beat mine and I should have been acting accordingly but no, I wasn't seeing it that way. I wasn't accepting the fact that this guy could have a better hand than mine. And then there was that far, far off chance that the 4c would fall on the river and fill a straight flush for me. I bet and he called all in so I called leaving me 48 chips. He showed 9c,10c and my heart sank.

When the 7h fell on the river I knew it was over. No 4c was coming to save me at the last minute. I had taken the chance of a lifetime and blew it. Why? It was a stupid call. Why would I play 5c,7c? Why? Why would I call when player 9 raised to 560? It was ridiculous.

I didn't give up though. If remember one time before I wrote, "It ain't over till it's over". I tried to put that into practice once again. I built those 48 chips back up to 2085 chips and was 304th out of 352 by the first break. But I couldn't make it last. The cards just weren't falling my way and I wasn't playing patient enough to wait on the right cards. I ended up finishing 270th and ended my one chance at cashing in on the biggest pot I may never see again.

Thanks for the words of support and encouragement. You're absolutely right, the FS 50k was a great learning experience. I know now that I should quit whining about what happened and use it to improve and move on. I know that negative thoughts bring about negative conclusions so if I sit down at a table with doubts about my game I've defeated myself before the first card has even been dealt. I've got to go on and get ready for my next "chance of a lifetime".